"...a little 'lame'" by Brandon Astor Jones and David Astor Jones

An adult who ceases after youth to unlearn and relearn his facts and reconsider his opinions... is a menace to... community...

-Edward Lee Thorndike 1874-1949



The late American educational psychologist's words at the head of this essay seem completely appropriate. Contrary to popular belief, many of us in prison are changing the way we think. Here read change for the better. Let me share a recent exchange with you.

I walked into the tiny rectangular room. The barber and I greeted one another. When I sat down he immediately wrapped my neck and shoulders with a white and black pinstriped cape. He then asked, "How do you want it?"

It was only my second visit to his chair, so he was still in need of little guidelines regarding my cut. I explained again how I never want to look as if I just had a haircut. Instead, "I want to look as if I do not need one."

He said, "I've never heard that before." He went on, "What about your line?"

I answered, "Just square it off at the bottom of my sideburns and line up and down behind my ears as you fade it away into my lower neck. No line across the back either, just feather that out."

"You mean no line anywhere in front?"

"No."

Pressing further, he asked. "Why not?"

I replied, "It is my opinion that many Black men in America, as they try to hide their loss of hair, are speeding up the process of their receding hairlines every time they get a line cut across the front of their foreheads."

He cut off his clipper before declaring, "You know man, I never gave that any thought till now but it makes sense."

We exchanged a few more personal observations and opinions. Eventually he revealed that his son is in his early teens, and rarely listens to the advice he tries to give him in his frequent letters. Having heard about my reputation for writing, about things in and out of prison, he suggested that I write something that would be universally instructive for young men.

It was not a bad idea. I agreed to do it. I promised that by the time my next haircut rolled around, I would bring him a copy of whatever I came up with; and, if it met with his approval, he could send it to his son.

As he continued to cut my hair I found myself remembering my own first year as a teen. I was a run-away in Saint Louis, Missouri. Looking back on some of those days and nights I can also remember wishing that someone, anyone, would tell me the kind of things I am thinking of writing.

Later, it occurred to me that I should write a series of essays, not just one. In each essay I could choose a subject and briefly expand on it. I will start here:

The wise young man, when fortunate enough to be in the presence of an extremely attractive woman who he would like to know better, must never allow himself to be caught leering at her body parts.

I know it is sometimes incredibly difficult not to stare, but appropriate restraint must be exercised. Life is not a rap video.

I suggest that in such trying moments you look engagingly into her eyes. If you are speechless, speaking to her with your eyes presents her with an open-ended compliment that you, and/or she, can take anywhere the moment allows. She will appreciate your visual engagement, despite the silence, rather than leering.

That is the good news.

The bad news is that most gangsta (gangster) rappers would refer to the woman described above as a 'Bougie b...h' (note that I did not spell out the b- word, for the same reason I never spell out the n- word. It is all about respect and dignity for yourself and others.)

There is another kind of woman who can be equally attractive, in a physical way, and she loves being leered at. The purveyors of gangsta rap have a name for her as well. They call her and her kind 'Bus' it babies'. It does not take much to get a 'Bus' it baby' into your bed, according to the rappers. She is likely to be just as eager to hop into the next man's bed as yours, especially if he has more money than you.

In the next instalment of this series I plan to explore more of the language that is used (beyond 'Bougie b...h' and Bus' it babies) in the gangsta rap lyrics of the song "I'm So Hood".

If you are an adherent to the more rigid tenets of hard core rap, you might want to pass on reading instalment number two. That is to say it will have been written by someone who, according to the lyrics in "I'm So Hood", is more than a little 'lame'.